It is worth it

No matter what you do it has some sense. I have been little bit down last few days. Friend of mine come to visit me, but I kinda was not happy about it. I mean, yeah I was happy, I did not see him for 4 now, but there was some emotion I cannot explain. Kind of sadness. To see how much he move over this four years, and realizing I am still in the middle. No matter how hard I work I felt like it is not enough. What ever I do, it was not enough at that moment. Because he has his career, friends and everything and I am still on my way. This sounds so depressively, and it was. But that is the thing. I realize today. I spend a week with my friend, being kinda jealous of his success, insteand of enjoying time together.
I have my dreams and my plans and I work on this so hard. People sometimes cannot imagine how hard is that. But there is a lot of days when I enjoy a lot of fun during this hard work, and this hard work allowed me, to do a lot of things I want around. And of course there was the relationship things, I am just freshly alone. Not that I am sad because of that, I am actually happy. Becuase since I was thinking through I find out I was not happy, becuase I was not allowed to be me. I was hidden deep inside. And since we end it, I start to be myself again, and a lot of people said to me that this is me again. Having fun, spending time with friends and enjoying life. But once again I am alone. And I feel like I failed in something. And everyone simply hate that feeling. And THAT hold me back, becuase I start to think why is so easy for other to meet someone, to find new friends, new people, new partner and I am so happy if I push myself to put on trousers and go to mine friends place. Why I am socialy akward. Why I am not easily relax in society. So I start to wonder around. And most of the people say me the same. They are socialy akward, at least they have the feel. But alcohol make it easier. So dear sober people, I am sorry to tell you, but if you wanna go to pub and meet new people alcohol is the secret. Awful I know.
But the thing is still the same. A lot of people have feel they are not good enough. Not good enough for that position, for that person, for that school. And that is the thing. You are good enough to achieve your dreams! I mean it. I was living that way before. I felt I am not good enough for that, that or that. And then I regret a lot of things. So I start to try everything. So one day when I will turn back I will not regret anythings. Remember you are worth it. You are good enough. If you are not sure about something just try it. It is always better to try than regret it. Me, by myself I always have issue with things I do. I have doubs. I am unsure, unsecure and so many things, but I am trying to overcome and just give it a try. Because no matter what at least I try.
So please do not stop trying, do not stop to chasing your dream and remeber you are worth it!
Amanda Poetry

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